All righty, it's time for the 2nd annual blogging attempt. It was about November of last year I guess, when I began blogging and petered out. I was having recurrent and severe constipation of the creative juices, and so I had to turn my attention to removing a few logjams. I BELIEVE, though time will tell, that creative juices might be ready to flow...a friend of mine suggested that I try blogging, and a part of my mind immediately pounced on that and started gnawing on it, rolling it around, and decidedly not letting go of it. So after visiting my blog 8 or 10 times and THINKING about making an entry, I actually made the leap here on September 9, day of the Vikings opener(a fact I am only aware of by virtue of my husband), and I am officially blogging. Woo hoo!
I promise nothing here, not even to continue with this blog. If it continues I don't know what it may evolve into, but I do know that I'm subject to write about or share anything about anything, centering around my experience, with no particular boundaries or taboos. I choose absolute freedom. Really, I don't know if anyone will even read it, but that is what it is. For me, I think I just need an expression for my experience here in a human body, discovering and recovering my soul and spirit, healing on all levels, merging myself with all Creation and enjoying the Dance. Oh and along the way working through tenacious insomnia, struggling with my children's angry outbursts, dousing myself in shame, self-pity, or other show-stoppers, and other goodies.
I'm reading a great book, which I will probably have a lot more to say about: "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle. Here is a loose quote: "Accept everything in each moment as if you have chosen it for yourself." I love that. I love the power of "I choose this," and in my more anxiety-ridden moments I am able to reclaim my power by reminding myself that I can choose, I can ALWAYS choose, no matter what is going on within or without. I can choose to accept this anxiety, I can choose to look at it with curiosity, observe how it feels and moves inside me, I can notice that I'd rather be anywhere else but here, that I'm worrying that I'm not going to make it (i.e., survive), and then I can choose. Eckhart Tolle speaks with such great clarity, it's like my mind empties when I read it, some low-level murmurings inside me quiet down, and I slowly soak in what he's saying.
Well, time for my nighttime cocktail: Ambien and a few other ingredients, attempting to remedy that tenacious insomnia. Here's to HERE! It's all that exists.
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